I'm Done

I'm done, its that simple. I have decided I no longer care to try and keep peace between the two of you. Anytime I try to be there for either one of you, your burden of not being able to maintain a functional relationship is unleashed on me. I cannot carry the weight of the failing marriage any longer on my shoulders. The confusion between the two of you drives me crazy almost to the point I have no desire of getting married or having a family myself. I no longer even know the reason you two cannot be in the same room with each other with out a lingering feeling of hatred and disgust. The feels are just there for the sake of feeling them. There aren't even any legit reasons besides the two of you. I resign on trying to figure either one of you, your marriage, or your lives out.

Moving into another house was not only hard on me but Caroline, Alanna, and Douglas as well. Yes its true, Douglas has his own house now, but the divorce still affects him. In fact, I think he is taking it the hardest. His whole life he grew up with married parents. Since he has been away for so long, he didn't even get the chance to see the divorce coming like Alanna, Caroline, and I did. Another reason why I resign: I've seen this coming since I was in fifth grade. Everything I did then to try and be a form of communication between the two of you then did absolutely nothing just as everything I tried to communicate between the two of you now. Have you two thought of maybe trying to actually talk to each other? Or getting some professional help rather than using your kids as a channel? Obviously not, because I'm always hearing from you mom, "Tell your father…." or from you dad "How come your mother…?" I refuse to tell you anything more Dad, and I refuse to ask you any more questions Mom. 

I quit as an equal daughter, 1/2 belonging to mom and 1/2 belonging to dad. I am just Mallory now. Being in California has been the best escape of my life. I can focus on my own life now. I no longer have to worry about seeing dad 3.5 days of the week and mom the other 3.5 days of the week. Its so nice just worrying about myself. It sounds selfish, but did you ever think how selfish the both of you have become? The only guilt I feel for leaving is hearing the stories of what home life is still like through Caroline's voice. I feel so blessed the divorce just began right before I left for California, but so disgraced in the fact I left my little sister behind to deal will all of your bull shit without her big sister to face the crumbling family with her. I'm not sorry any longer. For now on I will only love the two of you separately, because clearly together isn't working.
Mallory